Fragments of a Shattered Mind
by Mahogany x Skies
Summary: Why does Farfie want God to cry? Does it deal with someone he loves? **Disturbing/Dark**


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Fragments of a Shattered Mind

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By: Gakkuri Naishinnou

1/1 (One-shot)

Farfarello x Usagi (Implied)

(Since no one has written a fic for Farfie/Usa [I think], I've decided to try my hand at one.)

Standard disclaimers apply.

Warnings: **Angst/Horror** theme, grammatical errors, intentional run-ons and FRAGMENTS, some iffy _SPOILERS _for Farfie's past (it is only referred generally), and just plain ol' weirdness. This also deals with religion, so I want to apologize if I offend anyone.

Summary: Why does Farfie want God to cry? Does it deal with someone he loves? **Disturbing/Dark**

A.N.: My life has been very stressful these few months, and I really think I owe an explanation as to why I haven't been updating as frequently as before. Due to certain circumstances (my father was diagnosed with Cancer, and I feel like I've been walking on eggshells around my whole family), I've decided to put off writing for a couple of months and have my cousin continue my fanfics for me. I don't want to delete this account, so I'll hand it over to my cousin. This is actually a farewell piece from me; I might get back to writing after my life starts to settle down. (When I say farewell, I don't mean permanently. I don't want anyone to think that I'm about to jump off a bridge once they read this fic. {Yeah, it's _that_ bad.} I just need a break.) I'm sorry if I've disappointed anyone. (Btw, I know that this is random, but Happy Mother's Day!)

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God makes people cry. God makes people and breaks people and leaves them out to die.

We wait all our lives for salvation; for Him to come rescue us from whatever fate has befallen us. But God, himself, dictates Fate. God chooses how we die and how we sin. We do not sin unless it is sin in his eyes.

God makes people cry tears of blood.

Everyday, someone cries and cries and cries and cries and cries because of God and it's so loud and I hear it and I hate it and I want it to stop but they don't stop and they cry some more until I scream and thrash and slit and kill and I get all bloody and dirty and it makes me hate them even more because the crying hasn't stopped. And I realize that I am the one who is crying.

I want Him to feel pain and to know and to feel what people feel when they die. Does he know? Does he know how people suffer? Does he know just whom he took? No, no, no. He took a fallen angel. He took your golden hair and pink lips and he claimed them all for his own. He took you and killed you and made you pale and cold and unmoving. He took your wings and clipped them, and he made you a mortal. You are now dead as a result. I hate Him. 

You are white and pale. Blood suits you. The darker your skin is, the more I love you! You want me to love you, no? Yes, yes, yes! Must rub the red liquid of life all over you! You will live, and you will be with me, and you will cry and feel pain for me! Paint your lips red, I must! Wash your hair in crimson dye, I shall! Bask your pallid skin in scarlet, I will! 

All of this will come from me! Yes, yes, yes! Just a razor and a slit, and you will be all pretty! Pretty, pretty, pretty. I love pretty things. Pretty things are red like roses; therefore, you must be bathed in crimson liquid!

Just a slit and, oh, my… I made a mess… Oh, but that doesn't matter! I have plenty more to spare, pretty girl in red! You will be pretty like me! 

Oh, but, why aren't you smiling? 

Smile, pretty girl! Smile!! Why won't you _smile_?! 

Pretty girl _MUST _smile! I'm making you pretty, so why won't you smile?

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SMILE!!

Is pretty girl sad? Yes, yes, yes! Pretty girl is sad because He took you! Pretty girl was crying when He slit your neck and stabbed you thrice… You were prettier then. You were beautiful because you were crying, and you were crying tears of blood! With your hand and legs all mangled and gory, you seemed like an angel of expiation. It suits you, this name. You were quite sorry you didn't love me then, weren't you? When you left me, you felt guilty didn't you? Even as the knife was held to your neck, you refused to call Him a monster. If you called Him a monster, then you would be a beast's mother, no? It was a pity he didn't cry. I wanted him to cry. After the deed was done, I had to carry you out. Trust me, I was quite disappointed when they made me relinquish my hold on your beautiful, beautiful corpse. At least I have you back now.

Will you cry now that you realize He is truly a monster?

He makes people cry!

But I can make people cry tears of blood! Just a slit and no more nose or ear or mouth, and all that's left is blood!! Pretty girl _MUST_ cry for me now!

Cry, pretty girl, cry!

**__**

CRY!!

But you can't cry because you're all cried out… You cried all your tears for Him! I hate Him.

He MUST cry also!

_I_ will make sure He cries!

Yes, every night I will sin! He will cry for me, He will cry for the lost lives! _I_ will bloody His righteous hands! _I_ will make it rain blood; the heavens will cry! I will smear red paint all over the skies, and everyone will know that _this_ is salvation!

I will sin by cleansing others and making them clean! God will cry because He did not get the chance to do it himself! Everyone will learn that, when I kill, I am allowing them to redeem themselves for being alive while you are not! _No one_ has the right to live, if you aren't alive, yourself.

But what if, perhaps, I am wrong? What if each kill I make is fruitless? Feh. Changing one's ways is never enough to categorize as a form of redemption! I have killed hundreds, and I am already damning myself for eternity. What would redemption bring me? Why not make this useless life of mine actually worthwhile?

Don't wait up for me, pretty girl, for I will be out until dawn tonight.

Why?

Tonight, I will kill twenty men, and they will try to stop me with bullets and knives. Tonight, they will fail because I don't feel pain. Tonight, I will become that which I loathe with all of my heart.

Tonight, I will become God.

And tonight, God will cry once more.

~*~*~*Owari~*~*~*

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A.N.: *Shudder* Did I just write that? The scary part, though, was that it was actually easy to write. … *crickets chirp* … I really do need psychological help, ne? Well, I doubt anyone's actually gotten this far. I wouldn't have really gotten this far, either, had I not been the one writing this. Anyway, I want to thank everyone for such all the support and encouragement (though I really do think they're the same thing) you guys have given me. Hopefully I'll begin writing again. I'd like to dedicate this fic to anyone who has actually read all of this and still has their sanity intact. Thanks for reading!


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